I miss you, but I can’t tell you I miss you. I’m not allowed. You won’t see this, & I won’t show you. You won’t look for it either. You don’t care, and that hurts. You took what you wanted, lied, and left…and that hurts too. What hurts even more is that I have to watch and live a lie, pretending that I’m not affected, when in fact, I’m evaporating. I can’t leave it alone. I’m trying; every day I’m trying. There’s a part of this equation, and as horrible as it sounds, I wish it wasn’t a factor. Since it is, I can never reach you. I never will be able to. We can become nothing, and so this will go on, and I will forever be in pain until the day I can let go. I wish you never moved me.
I’m hooked at the cheek. You say you don’t want drama, but you spawned it all. I create the lies to protect you. I create the lies so everything will remain together. You go on living like normal, but my heart is aching because I care too much. Where’s the off button? When will you become nothing? You keep growing. You won’t stop, and I can’t escape you. All I ever was, was nice to you. Why are you mean to me? What did I ever do? Yeah, my feelings are hurt. You’re a jerk. You wear a mask, and you have horns underneath it. Were you always like this?
I’m in pain when you’re in pain. Why would you confide in me? Why would you make me have significance in your life and then make me a stranger? Then you turn and go left field and you’re sweet again. I don’t know what I am to you.
Do you even know who I am? Maybe, I was just another piece of flesh. I was just another eye and ear. I filled your need, old and used, now you’re onto something new.